Shikamaru's Game of Solitaire
by Satine89
Summary: Another sequel to 'Sasuke Gets Stuck in a Hole'. Shikamaru is trying to play solitaire, but Sasuke's fangirls, Rock Lee, and a poker tournament are getting in his way... PG13 for language and hints of yaoiness.


Shikamaru's Game of Solitaire

The Semi-Sequel to the Equally As Strange 'Naruto Gets Humiliated but he has a Ramen Coupon'

Shikamaru shuffled a deck of cards. He had lost his last game of solitaire, but he was positive that he'd beat himself this time. He moved the cards back and forth in his hands, and then placed them facedown on the table before them. Just after he flipped over the first card – a queen of diamonds – he heard screaming.

_Great, _Shikamaru thought. _Sasuke's fan club._

But the large group of women stopped where Shikamaru stood.

"Oh my gawd, look at him!" one said.

"I don't think I read about this in my super-secret Sasuke Uchiha journal!" one cried.

"When did you get plastic surgery?" a girl asked Shikamaru.

"Plastic surgery… what the hell…?" Shikamaru echoed.

"Sasuke, how could you make yourself so ugly?" another girl asked.

"Sasuke? What are you –" Shikamaru tried to say.

"It was Rock Lee, wasn't it?!" a redhead yelled. Shikamaru supposed that she was the leader.

"Rock Lee…?"

"Girls! Attack Rock Lee and force him to tell us what he did to Sasuke!" the redhead bellowed.

"But I'm not –"

The fan girls ran away, screaming bloody murder. Shikamaru sighed and turned back to his game of solitaire when he saw that all of his playing cards had scattered on the ground.

"Crap…" Shikamaru whined, as he collected all the cards off the ground. He reshuffled them, put the deck facedown once again, and began to play. He was doing remotely well when the fan girls came back.

They all looked very angry.

"You little bastard," the redhead said.

"What?" Shikamaru sighed.

"You made us beat up Rock Lee for no reason. We know your tricks, Kakashi!"

"Kakashi?! But I'm not –"

The fan girls drew paper fans, baseball bats, and other weapons that would certainly hurt Shikamaru. Shikamaru's eyes widened, and he dashed out of his chair and around Konohagakure, the fan girls threatening him and bruising him whenever they could.

"You twerp!"

"You made us hurt Rock Lee!"

"We'll kill you!"

Suddenly, Sasuke casually walked by. All the fan girls stopped their assault on Shikamaru and paused as Sasuke kicked a rock down the dirt road. After he had walked by, the fan girls started chasing after Sasuke.

"Sasuke!"

"We love you!"

"Kiss me!"

"Sasuke --!"

Shikamaru stared at the fan girls vindictively. He was partly angry, partly glad that the fan girls had a short attention span.

Shikamaru trudged a mile, back to his table and his cards, when he saw that a few people were sitting at his table.

"Check," Ino sighed, looking at her hand. Naruto nodded, holding his own cards, and then moving his head to Choji.

"Fifty," Choji said, dropping a pink chip in front of him. Next in the circle was Kiba.

"Raise to two hundred," Kiba smiled. Akamaru barked happily.

Now it was Naruto's turn. "I see your two hundred."

"Fold," Ino stated flatly.

Choji turned around. "Hey, Shikamaru, want to join us?"

Shikamaru was too busy fuming to answer directly. "GET OFF OF MY TABLE!"

Naruto, Ino, Choji, and Kiba were a bit flabbergasted about Shikamaru's outburst, so Naruto collected the poker chips in a bag, dropped the cards, and beckoned for the others to follow.

"Come on, Sakura said she'd let us use her poker table at three."

"Yay! The Konohagakure Poker Tournament!" Ino smiled happily as the four walked away.

Shikamaru sat back down, grabbed the cards, and shuffled them again. He sighed.

_First the fan girls… now the poker tournament… _

Shikamaru actually managed to start a game when a shadow loomed over him.

"So… you pretended to be Sasuke and got me beaten up…"

Shikamaru looked up to see Rock Lee. He had various bandages, bruises, and gauze seemingly draped over his body. Lee cracked his knuckles, and Shikamaru flinched. He knew this would not be good.

After ten minutes, multiple punches, and cards scattering everywhere, Rock Lee left, rubbing his hands, now that he was done.

Shikamaru felt bruises on every square inch of his body. Nevertheless, he shuffled his cards once again and placed them face down. He managed to start and get well into the game when Sasuke walked up to Shikamaru.

"Yes?" Shikamaru asked testily. Shikamaru, as you may have guessed, wasn't having a good day at all.

"Hey, I have to tell you something," Sasuke whispered. Shikamaru had the feeling that it was going to be something about the rabid fan girls.

"I love you."

Shikamaru had just about enough right there. "WILL YOU PEOPLE PLEASE LEAVE ME IN PEACE SO I CAN FINISH MY DAMN GAME OF SOLITAIRE?!"

Sasuke blinked. "Oh, so that's what you've been doing all day. But I still love you."

"I'm not in the mood, Sasuke, so GO AWAY!"

Sasuke left, leaving Shikamaru to finish his solitaire game. Amazingly, after a half-hour of intense gaming, Shikamaru won his game. Then a thought came to him.

_Did Sasuke tell me he loved me?!_

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto in any way, shape, or form, unless you count the graphic novel my friend bought for me, the headband I bought, and my lucky Naruto necklace. Otherwise, yeah, I don't own it.

Ren: This marks your second shonen-ai… I'm rather scared, Satine…

Mandark: Oh well, we watched the Ring yesterday; we're going to die in seven days.

Kaiba: It's just a movie…

Boris: Wait… why am I here?

Satine: Good question… (sweat drops)


End file.
